I regularly have contact with people struggling to survive the death of a loved one. Bereavement is a difficult time for anybody. My advice is usually some task to complete. It helps to focus the pain and the hurt. One of the more effective tasks is to start writing. Write a hymn, a poem, a tribute or just a simple message to your loved one. Remember this is not for other people, so do not worry about how it sounds. This is your thoughts, so simply jot them as they occur. Some use simple notebooks, but you may prefer to buy a special journal. Start writing regularly. Write down your memories of your life with your beloved. It could be hard in the beginning and it can cause you great pain. Use this to let your grief flow. Do not try to stop the tears. Crying is good for healing. Some claim that even thinking about the one they lost is just too painful. You need to let the gates of your grief open. You also need to remember why you are in pain: you lost someone very important. The purpose of remembering is to help you make peace with what happened.
Some feel that this task is too difficult. They do not know how to write, or where to start writing. There are tricks to help you overcome these problems. Start pasting pictures in the journal. Browse through magazines and look for pictures that spark a sense of association in you. It can be anything that you can associate with the deceased like a photo of a mountain reminding you of a recent holiday trip to the mountains. Building up a collection of pictures with special meanings in you journal will help you understand how powerful this can be. Simply write a short description of why the picture is important and before long you will find yourself writing with ease. Sometimes when you struggle to write, simply write down how feel, in two or three words. Just writing a simple statement like “today I feel blue” on a single page in your journal helps you to keep a rhythm.
If you want to learn more about healing from your grief, please take a look at my newest book here or here