Saturday, 29 September 2012

Get My Newest Book Free for 3 Days.

I am promoting my newest book FREE for 3 days. Get it now. This offer ends 01 October 2012. 

From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One

Everyday someone loses a loved one. It is a painful and lonely period. Grief is a roller coaster of emotions and it can become so intense that you to question your own sanity. And to be honest most of us are unprepared for the impact of loss. Now there is help. From Grief to Peace - Mourning your loss will touch and comfort you. You will learn what grief is, why it is normal to feel so "abnormal" and how you can live through the pain and loss. This book will give you easy to follow ideas on how to lessen the impact of grief.

From Grief to Peace is written in simple terms. Not because the topic is simple or because the implication is that you cannot understand it fully. The book is short and simple because you need to focus on grieving and mourning your loss. Get this book today and earn a better understanding of the grieving process while learning the healthy way to survive the death of a loved one

Get this Kindle Book now.... Click Here

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Unable To Attend The Memorial Service? Write A Letter of Condolence. | The Grief Toolbox

I have written a new article published by The Grief Toolbox website.

What to do when you are unable to attend the memorial service of a deceased. A good possibility is to write a letter of condolence to the bereaved. A letter gives you the possibility to still offer your heartfelt support, even if you are unable to be there. Read more about writing a letter of Condolence by clicking the link below

Unable To Attend The Memorial Service? Write A Letter of Condolence. | The Grief Toolbox

Using Movies To Learn More About Grief.

We usually watch movies to relax, but movies have bigger power than just helping us to relax. Movies have the power to move us and to help us understand more about being human and our emotions.  Life is sometimes difficult and painful, and although some of us are blessed by living lives filled with joy and gratitude, we know that at some stage we will have to walk the road of pain and loss.

When troubling times hit, movies have a wonderful ability to help us make sense. Grief is a complex experience and most of us suddenly realize that we do not have the ability to describe our feelings. This is normal since grieving can be compared to a roller coaster. The one minute you feel as if you are coping, and the next minute the everything  falls out from under you and you lose it. An important part of coping with grief is being able  to express and understand what you are feeling. Movies are a valuable tool when trying to understand grief. Whether you are experiencing grief yourself, or trying to help a loved one of friend coping with grief, movies can help. Understanding grief is important, as Norman Cousins said “Man is not imprisoned by habit. Great changes in him can be wrought by crisis – once that crisis is recognized and understood.”

Watching movies can help you realize that your experiences are normal. Just realizing that you are not alone and what you experience is normal can promote healing. Also, watching a skillfully directed movie about grief can help you cry freely. Crying can release pain and hurt. It also offers you some chance to open up and discuss what you saw with someone else. This can offer you a springboard from which to launch a discussion of your own hurt and feelings. The healing that can be gained from a good movies is great. People experiencing grief tends to think that they will never be able to live again. It is as if their whole life has ended. Movies can help them see that grief is a universal experience and that life can go on again, although different.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Different Phases or Stages of Grief

Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross introduced the most famous model on the Stages of grief. She argued that people go through five different stages when confronted by death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  John Bowlby defined four different stages as numbness, searching and yearning, disorganization and despair, reorganizing and recovery.  No matter how you define these stages, all of them include the same situations: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, and acceptance.  Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through most of these stages.  Rather, these stages describe the possible emotions and reactions a person may experience when grieving, and not a linear progression from one stage to the other.  Grief can swing around; drop you to the ground, pull you forwards or backwards to any stage or phase it pleases. These can be experienced in any order, and some stages can be skipped altogether.  The biggest advantage of understanding these stages is that they do remind you that experiencing these feeling are quite normal behavior.  Grief is personal and unique for every person, and this applies to the possible stages of grief as well.

To learn more, please check out my latest book on Grief From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss. The Healthy Way

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Why Is It a Good Idea To Write a Letter When Grieving?

I regularly have contact with people struggling to survive the death of a loved one. Bereavement is a difficult time for anybody. My advice is usually some task to complete. It helps to focus the pain and the hurt. One of the more effective tasks is to start writing. Write a hymn, a poem, a tribute or just a simple message to your loved one. Remember this is not for other people, so do not worry about how it sounds. This is your thoughts, so simply jot them as they occur. Some use simple notebooks, but you may prefer to buy a special journal. Start writing regularly. Write down your memories of your life with your beloved. It could be hard in the beginning and it can cause you great pain. Use this to let your grief flow. Do not try to stop the tears. Crying is good for healing. Some claim that even thinking about the one they lost is just too painful. You need to let the gates of your grief open. You also need to remember why you are in pain: you lost someone very important. The purpose of remembering is to help you make peace with what happened.

Some feel that this task is too difficult. They do not know how to write, or where to start writing.  There are tricks to help you overcome these problems. Start pasting pictures in the journal. Browse through magazines and look for pictures that spark a sense of association in you. It can be anything that you can associate with the deceased like a photo of a mountain reminding you of a recent holiday trip to the mountains. Building up a collection of pictures with special meanings in you journal will help you understand how powerful this can be. Simply write a short description of why the picture is important and before long you will find yourself writing with ease. Sometimes when you struggle to write, simply write down how feel, in two or three words. Just writing a simple statement like “today I feel blue” on a single page in your journal helps you to keep a rhythm.

If you want to learn more about healing from your grief, please take a look at my newest book here or here

Friday, 21 September 2012

What is Grief and how does it differ from Mourning?

Grief Is To Experience Loss! Grief is a natural response to loss and more common than most people realize. It can be experienced for any loss like the breakup of a friendship, the loss of a beloved pet, the loss of a job, a miscarriage, a divorce, or even a serious illness. The death of a loved one can cause intense grief. The more significant the loss the more intense the grief, but the loss is a perceived loss. This means the loss of a pet can be more significant than the loss of a family member, depending on the perceived value of the pet. This makes grief a personal experience. Two members of the same family can experience the same loss, but still experience grief differently. Your coping abilities, life experiences, and faith also affect the intensity of your grief and mourning experiences. The differences in perceived loss can also cause misunderstandings and conflict between people. The death of a beloved dog can cause intense grief for the owner, giving cause to ridicule by others because of unnecessary “crying over that dog.” The closer the relationship, the longer and deeper the grieving period tend to be.

  To mourn is to express your grief As opposed to grief, which refers to how someone may experience the loss of a loved one, mourning is the outward expression of that loss. Understanding this distinction is important for healing. Grief is the internal pain you experience and this is universal. Every person who lost a beloved experiences essentially the same internal pain. The way we express these feelings however, depend on personal, cultural, familial, religious, societal customs and beliefs. Grief is internal, but mourning is external. Mourning is the attempt to give some form of structure to the confusing and painful reality of grief. It determines, for example, the way we prepare ourselves and our loves ones for dying, the way we bury our beloved and the way we preserve their memories. This can include visits to the graveside with flowers, keeping and cherishing photos and other memorabilia, or writing letters to the deceased. Just remember, acceptable rituals in one culture could be unacceptable in other cultures. It is important to remember that mourning is a personal expression of grief. There is no right or wrong way to do it.

Thursday, 20 September 2012

My First Review on Amazon

Jeffrey H. recently bought and reviewed my latest book on Amazon. He gave me 5 stars, which is quite generous [:p]. Here is his review:
If you have lost a loved one and are trying to cope with their lose this book can really help. This book will guide you through the grieving process and help you get your life back on the right track. It has easy to follow instructions and is full of helpful info and It is written in a way that is simple and to the point that really gets you into the right state of mind. I seriously recommend checking out this book if you are grieving for the loss of someone you love, it will help you.
To learn more, click here: From Grief to Peace - Mourning your Loss. The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One

Does counseling help when grieving?

Yes, it does. Finding the correct counselor with whom you can find report is of course important. Finding a counselor in your area is not as difficult as you think. Visit the community center, religious leaders or even Google your area with the words grief and counselor to find some in your vicinity. It can be worthwhile to find a good counselor when grieving. Grieving is a universal and normal response to the loss of anything important in our lives. We think about grieving only in terms of losing another human being. We can experience grief when we lose our jobs, a pet, or a lifelong dream for example. Although grief is a normal response, the problem is that we are mostly not prepared to handle grief. Counselors are known to help people in their grieving process and to help a faster and better healing process. Some people who losses something important also quickly realize that they are alone. In the beginning of the loss, people are usually sympathetic, but this does not last long. The world quickly forgets and moves on, leaving the mourner without the necessary support. Counselors can help fill this void created by people moving on. Counseling does appear to cause more pain in the beginning. Speaking about your loss and pain soon after can intensify the pain. Counselors know this and have techniques to guide grievers through their pain and hurt. Although the pain become more intense, speaking about it does help to relieve the pain in the end. Good counselors offer their patients an area where they can start to feel safe and secure. This allows them to speak freely about their emotions. Although counselors do offer great help, not everyone feel prompted to visit one. If you are going through a grieving process, take a look at my latest book, From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss. The Healthy You to Survive the Death of a Loved One. Perhaps it can offer some help.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

A great book by Blake Crouch - Pines

I read a very interesting book by an author I never heard of. It is quite a bit different than the books I normally read, but I enjoyed it. Read my full review here

Interesting book

I just read an interesting book about turning the tables on spammers. I did a short review here: HOW TO MAKE MONEY OPPOSING SPAMMERS - If You receive SPAM You can turn it into PROFIT

My First Sale and Review

I just found out that I made my very first sale on my newest book: From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One

I know it is just one sale, but the buyer also gave me a FIVE STAR REVIEW. I am so excited.

Making Choices is Hard!

Making choices in life is hard. The sad part is that we do not always know what the implications of our choices will be. It is only after we decided that we can sometimes discover if they were good or bad. Luckily, we all make bad choices. The problem is not bad choices, but how we react when we made a bad decision. I am busy writing my next article on this topic. I must say, I believe the key to a successful life is not in always making good choices, but rather in the way we act or react to those we did make.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

The Power of Fragile Hope

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings 
How lucky the man, or woman, who manages to find hope in times of despair. How lucky those who believe that light always follow the darkness. Hope can be so fragile, and yet it can be the strongest force that keep us going when all else failed.

Reading books for Teenagers :-D

 I wondered about reading a book mainly targeted at teenagers. I am almost 40 years old, but still this book hooked me and I found it hard to put down. I completed the book in 3 days and I must say it was good. I must however state that I was a bit intrigued by the brutal story line. The book can be quite terrifying at times and even disturbing at times. It is still a great story that is entertaining to read.

The story immediately conjured images of the old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Running Man. Most of the targeted readers will not understand this reference, but the older people will. The Hunger Games is about a teenager who is forced to compete in a live-or-death competition. Twenty-four teenagers enters an arena and only one will come out alive.

There is some criticisms though. The characters are a bit flat and one-dimensional. If the author could have given the characters a little more depth, it would have made the book better. There is also some parts where the book is poorly written.

Still, any book that helps teenagers to discover the joys of reading should be praised. 

Sometimes we live happily while others mourn

I just read the horrific news of two young men who fell to their deaths. According to the news report, they fell 100 feet while hiking outside North Bend. One was 18 years old while the other was only 16. Both died too young.

I just realize how quickly life could end. We have no guarantees in this life. It is important to live every moment to the fullest. We always say this, but we never take this advice to heart. Another sad reality is while there are two families out there wrecked by grief and mourning, I continue my life unaffected. Grief is one reality we choose to ignore, until death singles out someone we love. Then we look at the world going along merrily and wonder why nobody is stopping to share our grief. So today I decided to make a stop, if only for a few minutes, and think about these families. They do not know me, and I do not know them. They will never be aware that I took some time today to stop my life and think about them and pray for them. Perhaps it will make no difference to them, but it will make a difference to me!

Monday, 17 September 2012

To Lose Someone you Love.

The death of a loved one is one of the most painful moments you can experience. I have more than 13 years experience in helping people coming to grips with various situations, especially grief. Grief has the ability to dislodge you from reality. Your emotions are so jumbled that you can compare the experience to a roller coaster ride. The one moment you feel fine, the next you feel like you cannot breathe. This is normal, and that is why it is so important to understand what grief is and how you van manage the pain. My latest book, From Grief to Peace - Mourning the Loss of a Loved One, is written to help you understand the pain, the emotional roller coaster and to give you the ability to survive and experience life again. It is not easy, and some even say you never fully recover from grief, but you can live a fulfilling life again. The goal is to reorganize one’s life so the loss is one important part of life rather than the center of one’s life. This book will also give advice on what you can do in slowly rebuilding your life. 

You can learn more about my book under my book page here.