Tuesday, 18 December 2012

What makes a young man kill?



The latest shooting incident in Newton shocked the world. Twenty-six people killed in one of the worst mass shootings in the US. I do not know how the families of the deceased will be able to pick themselves up again. For some the reality of what happened has not sunk in yet. Others will experience a feeling of disorientation and despair. 

The question on my mind is what caused Adam Lanza to do this? Perhaps we will never know what drove him, but I am saddened to just think about the pain and hurt his actions caused others. I see people experiencing grief regularly and I am always saddened by the depth of their pain. Some lost their beloved because of natural causes, others because of illness or old age, others lost their beloved in car accidents or other unexplained acts. The loss of a loved one is always a painful experience, but I suspect losing a loved one to a senseless act like this one creates a deeper pain and hurt.

My deepest sympathies to the families of the deceased... may you find peace... someday! 

A Lost Kitten by Jessica Kong

A Lost Kitten

John McCall labels the attack on the Sea-anan Empire as a nightmare.  He escapes the enemy’s invasion.  Stranded on a distant planet called Surreal, he quickly learns the true meaning of nightmare when he discovers his soulmate is of “the mist.”  With a tyrant destroying his empire, and his family missing in action, John must decide whether to remain on the ghost planet with his soulmate or return to the land of the living to locate his family.
 Jasira Eversole is drawn to the powerfully built outlander.  John’srugged good looks and chiseled body compel Jasira to reach out and touch him. Being of the mist, Jasira knows she will not be able to feel John, but she cannot resist his pull. The richness of John’s hair, the firmness of his muscles, and the clean scent of his skin all take Jasira off guard. She swiftly realizes John is her intended mate. Now, Jasira must somehow convince the young warrior that they are two halves of one soul without chasing him off Surreal, leaving her to a lonely existence as mist.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Ring-Fenced: a novel by Zach Abrams


Ring-Fenced by Zach Abrams

Benjamin enjoys sex, he likes money, he loves power and he’s addicted to control.
If you think your life’s complicated then spare a thought for him as he obsessively juggles and controls his five independent lives.
One man, five lives, ring-fenced and separated,
  • Bennie, loving husband and father,
  • Benjie, beloved youngest son,
  • Ben, successful corporate banker,
  • Benjamin, millionaire author and publisher of pornography
  • and Jamie, dynamic part-time lover of a beautiful musician.

Relying on his Blackberry to keep all his personae separate, his life is perfect.
But what if holes begin to appear in the divisions?
When a sequence of events throws his life into chaos, his separate words collide with explosive consequences.

About Zach Abrams
After a successful career in business and finance, Zach Abrams recently started writing fiction.
His first novel 'Ring Fenced' was published in November 2011.  This is a crime story with a difference, having an underlying theme of obsession, power and control. This novel was followed by a collaboration with Elly Grant to produce 'Twists and Turns' a book of short stories and flash fiction. Alike his central character in 'Ring Fenced,' (Benjamin Short), Zach Abrams completed his education in Scotland and went on to a career in business and finance.  He is married with two children.  He plays no instruments but has an eclectic taste in music, although not as obsessive as Benjamin. Unlike Benjamin, he does not maintain mistresses, write pornography and (sadly) he does not have ownership of such a valuable company.  He is not a sociopath (at least by his own reckoning) and all versions of his life are aware of and freely communicate with each other.

Zach has completed his second novel 'Made a Killing' which has recently been published.  This is a fast moving, gripping novel set in the tough crime-ridden streets of Glasgow. More in keeping with ‘Made a Killing,’ Zach was raised in Glasgow and has spent many years working in Central Scotland.

Tuesday, 4 December 2012


The Gemstone Chronicles Book One: The Carnelian

A very nice book written by William Stuart for Young Adults. It tells the story of Aiden an Maggie discovering the magic world of fairies and elves and the story has a similar feel and atmosphere as the Narnia tales. Aidan and Maggie find a fairy cross while rock-hunting with their grandfather, it's just an oddity. But when they discover there is an elf imprisoned in the stone and set him free, they and their grandparents, Nana and Beebop, are attacked by some other elves and have to flee to the magical world of Celahir.

In Celahir, Findecano - the elf the children freed from the fairy cross - leads them on a quest to recover gemstones stolen from the Elven Bow by the Dark Elves. Without the restoration of the gemstones to the Elven Bow, the balance between good and evil in Celahir - and the human world - could tip toward evil.

I really enjoyed this book. There is some very passages that made me laugh. I think most teens will enjoy the mystery of the story and I would highly recommend this book. 


Sunday, 28 October 2012

5 Ways to Cope with the Loss of a Loved One

(Guest Post by Ryan Rivera)



5 Ways to Cope with the Loss of a Loved One

It’s hard to lose someone dear to you especially when you did not expect it to happen. But what can we know? None of us can really easily suppose or think of the possibility of someone we love dying. That’s why when their time comes, it’s really hard for those who were left to get over it and move on. Although the pain engraved by such a depressing and traumatic event may be forgotten in a few years or so, here are ways to help people slowly relieve their scars in a shorter time.


Calmly undergo the grief cycle
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss psychiatrist established this cycle about grieving.  It is believed that any people undergoing these traumatic events are filled with anxiety and depression that without careful consideration might develop serious illness. So it is important to calm down and believe in the comforting promise of this cycle where acceptance is believed to be achieved by all. Don’t be afraid to go through this cycle and don’t be scared to take the steps of recovering as you slowly erase the pain of losing someone from your heart.

Find comfort from those who are around you
Friends and families who are always with you in times of depression and troubles can help you pour out the pain you feel inside. You can spoil yourself through them; telling or asking them of whatever you need as you genuinely depend on them in your grievance period. Don’t avoid their sincere offers and suffer all alone. After all anything or anyone that’s about to crumble down needs support to hold on to. You may ask for some time alone.  However, you must avoid seclusion as much as possible.  Living a solitary life will only make it harder for you to move on after such loss.

Have a peaceful and positive perception
In painful times, your mind will take on all negative accounts of life making it harder for you to cope up. So counteract this state by forcing yourself to have a positive outlook. Always remember that nothing goes in stay in this material world.  We all live only once, so we must not waste our time entertaining those negative outlooks in life. One effective way is by joining yoga sessions that helps a lot in refreshing your mind. You may also indulge in other meditational exercises as these will help you get rid of negative thoughts and become more focused on what really matters in life.

Don’t forget how to live
During these times, you have to take care of yourself all the more. Engage in activities that you find comfort and entertainment so you can calm down. Treat yourself to reasonable leisure and maintain your health by eating and sleeping regularly. This may seem unfair to ask of you while you’re mourning but it’s important and necessary so you won’t risk your own life. Taking care of your overall health is definitely part of coping with grief and loss. Just because your loved one has died does not mean you should take your life for granted. Although you may never be able to live your life the way it was when you still haven’t lost your loved one but, there are many ways on how you can improve and keep it going no matter how tough life is going to be.

Let your faith guide you
Remember the teachings and the wisdom you hear in your religion. Seek comfort in His divine promises and all that He can do for you. Believe in Him and know that everything happens for a reason and that everything happened for the benefit of those who love Him. If you’re a nonbeliever, we’re not imposing on you about this but if you really feel crushed right now and you’re stuck in an unexplainable circumstance, there is no harm in trying to call out for Him. No one will judge you and no one knows but Him so feel free to do so.
Finally, to all those who are mourning, remember that it isn’t necessary to forget and let go of the person you lost so you can recover but what you have to forget and release is the pain of his or her death.

About the Author:
Ryan Rivera used to suffer from the symptoms of anxiety attacks for seven years.  He now advocates healthy living as the best weapon against anxiety and depression.  You can read more of his articles at Calm Clinic.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Letters to my Daughters by Avery Washington


Letters to my Daughters by Avery Washington

A beautiful relationship of love from their father here on earth combined with the love from our Heavenly Father God, Avery shares his love and support for his daughters as their father, showing how instrumental the love of not only their father here on earth is, but also accepting the love of our Father God. This book is full of poetic affirmations of love and inspirational quotes which will give daughters of all ages' strength, encouragement and inspiration which will give them good mental health to become strong women in the future. Letters to my Daughters

This is a beautiful book that every father with daughters should read. It is like a breath of fresh air. Easy to read and inspiring, this book offers so much to think about. I think a lot of fathers forget how big a role they play in the lives of their daughters. Great book.

My Latest Booklet Published - Grief Observed: Understanding Grief Through Movies


Grief Observed - Understanding Grief Through Movies

My latest book (or booklet) has just been published on Amazon. It offers a interesting way of dealing with grief and mourning. We usually watch movies to relax, but movies offer more than simple relaxation. Movies have the power to inspire us and to help us understand more about ourselves and our emotions. Sometimes, life is difficult and painful. Even though some of us are blessed to live lives filled with joy and gratitude, we know at some point we will have to experience pain and loss.

Unfortunately, I believe that we do not understand grief today and that observing grief in movies can be a great help. This little booklet will introduce you to some great movies to help you better understand and express your pain and grief. It is a short booklet, therefore cheap also, and it only introduces the concept of watching movies to understand grief. There is hundreds of movies today that can help you understand the universal problem of pain when losing a loved one. Check it out now.

Saturday, 20 October 2012

Why write a book on grief?


Losing a loved one is perhaps, the most painful incident anyone can ever experience. People who lost someone close to them know that it is almost impossible to describe the pain and emotions. And perhaps that makes it even worse: people want to help you, but you cannot tell them exactly how you feel or why. Grief is not something that simply disappears with time. The idea that time heals all pain is not always true. Sometimes the pain of losing someone you love stay with you for life. For some the pain become so intense that they consider suicide, and unfortunately some do commit suicide.

Grief and loss is one of the least understood experiences in human life. As a society, we ignore the reality of death, and when death do strike, we try to remove all signs as soon as possible. The bereaved is “guided” to accept the reality of loss as soon as possible so they can “continue” with their lives. In the beginning, people swarm the grieving family, only to “disappear” within a few weeks, leaving the family feeling lost and alone in their pain.

I have written my book, From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss. The Healthy Way, from my experience working with people struggling with grief. I have seen many people question their own sanity while experiencing normal grief symptoms. For them the impact of pain was so harsh, that they wondered if there was something wrong with them. The relief people experience when realizing there is nothing wrong with them forced me to write a simple book on grief. This book was not written to break new ground in the study of grief and loss. It is not suppose to be an in-depth look at grief, but rather a short introduction for a better understanding of grief, bereavement and mourning.

The book is unpolished (English is not even my first language) and I am not a writer, as a critic clearly stated in one review. However,  the book is an honest discussion of the realities I see too often in my daily work. Despite the flaws, the book will offer value to anyone who reads it. Even people who are not experiencing grief will find value in the book.

I am busy completing my second book on grief and I hope that this book will also offer those struggling to understand the reality of their pain, some comfort. Please keep checking this space for more information in the near future.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

My Next Book Is Almost Ready To Be Published On Amazon

Great News! My newest book is almost ready to be published on Amazon. If everything goes according to plan within the next 2-3 days. Like my previous book, this book focus on grief. I see lots of people in my daily routine who really struggle with the painful reality of death and loss.  People do not know how to grieve. We tend to ignore the reality of death, grief and mourning since no one like to talk or think about this subject. When death suddenly takes a loved one, we are at a loss.

This reality is the driving force behind the books I write. I want to help more people to be better prepared for the inevitable reality of grief and mourning. Understanding what grief is and how it differs from mourning, that the different stages of grief is and how to cope is important.  So keep checking this page for more information.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Read Kindle Books On Your PC, Android, Blackberry Or iPhone


Brilliant piece of software for people who do not have a Kindle.  A year or so ago I learned about the "Kindle for PC" software. I downloaded it and I am so glad I did. I have read countless Kindle e-books on my PC, and even on my Android Smartphone. Kindle has a version for Android, iPhone, Blackberry and Windows 7 phones. This is even better as I always have my phone with me.

The software offers you the advantage of syncing between your different devices. If you read your book on your PC this morning, you can sync it with your other devices and continue reading the afternoon on your phone. With so many Kindle books being offered for free the amount of reading material available is huge. 


You can even read my book From Grief to Peace - Mourning your Loss. The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One on your PC or phone wherever you are. 

The best thing about this software? It is FREE.

If you have never experienced Kindle Books before, get this software now. Click Here


Get My Book Now For A Big Discount - Only $0.99

Limited Time Offer!

Get "From Grief To Peace" For Only 99 cents.


Get From Grief To Peace For Only 99 cents
I am offering my e-book, "From Grief To Peace - Mourning Your Loss" at a price of 99c for a limited time. Why would I do this? I was asked to do this. I received a few emails asking me to offer drop the price. It appears as if Amazon adds $2 to all Kindle Books in certain countries, making the book expensive. I decided to comply and lower the price. For readers in certain countries the book will still cost $2.99, but it is cheaper. I offer this price only for a very limited time. So be quick if you want it! 

Even if you do not need it now, get it, because the reality of life is that, at some point, everyone loses someone they love.

My book wants to help you improve your understanding of  the reality of grief. Most of us are ill-prepared for the impact of the loss of a loved one. We do not know how to grieve. Modern society adds to the problem when expecting mourners to cope and move on with their lives as soon as possible. Unfortunately, for people in mourning this creates problems later. Almost all of us know about the Stages of Grief and we think that we simply have to move from one stage to the other to complete our grief and mourning process. It is not that simple. Grief is more like a roller coaster.

Therefore my book focus on the basics of grief. I try to answer the question "What is Grief?" as simply as possible. My book does not offer new insights on grief, but rather try to help you understand the basics of grief. I use the word GRIEF as an acronym to explain grief and guide you to heal properly. Grieving takes time, but if you understand what it does and why it makes you feel the way you do, you are better prepared to survive the loss of a loved one.

Here are some recent reviews of my book:

Jeffrey H. - This Guide Will Help
 If you have lost a loved one and are trying to cope with their lose this book can help. This book will guide you through the grieving process and help you get your life back on the right track. It has easy to follow instructions and is full of helpful info and It is written in a way that is simple and to the point that really gets you into the right state of mind. I seriously recommend checking out this book if you are grieving for the loss of someone you love, it will help you.
 Pam S - No nonsense advice for post-loss paralysis
This book is a practical distillation of much needed grief counseling for the early days and weeks after the loss of a loved one. Humane and sensible, it's the right advice.       
 Mohan, - Practical, sometimes theoretical advice
I commend the author for picking death and grief which can be a difficult topic to research and write about. The narrative is a bit theoretical although the author adds some practical tips while describing the five steps of grief - Remembering, Introspection, Externalization and Moving Forward. Five stars for research and narrative. Four stars overall.
 Ms. Eden  - Coping with grief
I feel that no matter how well you think you've prepared yourself, it's never easy dealing with death and the loss of a loved one. The grieving and healing process is such a truly individual journey and as such is always unique. That being said, this wonderful book offers insight into the process of coping with grief and loss in ways I hadn't considered. I especially like the way the author turned the word "grief" into an acronym that spells out the steps to healing and serenity. Whether you've recently lost a loved one, or know that you're going to soon, this well-written volume offers good, practical advice, that is both heart-felt and touching.

Friday, 12 October 2012

Grieving - Surviving the Sudden and Untimely Death of a Loved One

Surviving the sudden and untimely death of a loved one may be the most difficult thing family members may ever have to face. Grief is sudden, overwhelming, suffocating, and crushes the heart and soul of those who remain behind, leaving them with questions of “why” and how it could and perhaps should have been avoided. If the death was violent or negligent, these feelings are compounded leaving the family in emotional disarray.
Gone are the dreams shared with that person, or the hopes envisioned for that child. People tend to replay missed opportunities to love as they dwell over childish fights that occurred, and ruminate on the everyday reality of taking that loved one for granted. It begins a cascade of brokenness that if untreated, can lead to illnesses, dysfunction, and abuse among the surviving members.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is not uncommon, especially among the parents of young children who die prematurely as a result of an accident. Losing a spouse is no less traumatizing. Feelings of guilt, shame, anger, or self-loathing may lead to suicide, alcoholism,drug abuse or isolation.
Because sudden death of those under the age of 50 are uncommon, most family members feel unique and alone, not understanding how to cope or get the help they need to regain control of their emotions and physical well-being to see that they can expect a productive, fulfilling, and happy future.
There is hope for those who have lost a loved one suddenly and untimely. Allowing yourself the opportunity to grieve properly is important so also is how you align yourself with professionals, as well as family and friends, including legal representation, who will support you through the painful process of recovery and help you regain control of your life. Though your loved one is gone, your life does not have to end, and you do not have to be a slave to grief and sorrow.

The Stages of Grieving

With the sudden loss of a loved one, a friend, or a figure that you may not have known personally but loved and respected, like a civic leader or a prominent athlete, grieving will and must be a part of the process toward healing. Resolving all the competing, yet seemingly disparate emotions is important so that a sound mind may be regained, and you can go on living and loving.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross codified the stages of grieving in her book “The 5 Stages of Grieving.” While a simple Internet search will reveal a variety of number of stages for grieving, most simply follow her model, which we will briefly outline here.
1)      Denial – Sudden shock at the news of a loved one’s sudden death is so intense that denial of the event occurred is prominent. It can be both a conscious and unconscious denial that the death even occurred, and is considered a temporary defense mechanism employed by the brain. Some people are incapable or unwilling to leave this stage, believing that if they deny this reality that somehow the individual will walk through their door.
2)      Anger – Once denial has been broken down, the next stage is anger. Anger finds its manifestation in words and phrases like “why me?” “It’s not fair!” and a desire to know who is to blame for the loved one’s death. Anger can be turned inward so that the surviving member can take responsibility for the death – “If only I had been there!” Those in this stage of rage can often be difficult to console and reason with, and may be a challenge to live and communicate with.
3)      Bargaining – We tend to bargain with God, another person, or even ourselves in this stage. We realize that our anger is eating us up, so we try a different tactic by negotiating a way out of our grief. Making deals to either bring someone back, or, to retain a part of the past in an ever-present way, or to buy additional years of our own lives, occurs at this stage.
4)      Depression – It is during this stage that accepting the death begins. Depression sets in, and with it, hopelessness and a loss of reason for living and going on. Disconnection with others is common, and darkness comes over the soul of the individual as they realize that their loved one is not coming back. Sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty are natural feelings at this stage. These are actually good signs, though they may not seem so to those caring for the grieving person.
5)      Acceptance – In this final stage of grieving, the individual begins accepting the event by coming to terms with the fact that their loved one will not be returning. Once they enter this stage, they gain clarity, and are able to start putting the pieces of their lives back together, and begin moving toward a healthier lifestyle and rejoin the rest of the world.

When Sudden Death Occurs

Losing an elderly parent does not diminish the pain and grief that you may feel and experience. However, losing a loved one unexpectedly, whether it is a spouse or child, is often a greater shock and doubly more difficult to deal with. You must go through the stages of grieving. You must also, however, investigate whether or not the death could have been avoided, and if there was negligence from another individual or entity.

A Wrongful Death Attorney

The sound advice of legal counsel in helping put the pieces of the painful puzzle together will help bring about the clarity you need to make an informed decision about how to pursue a legal remedy. It is not uncommon for the wisdom and objectivity of a personal injury lawyer to actually help the grieving person or family move through some of the stages. Wrongful death is commonly defined as death caused by another person’s negligent actions.
Jack Leader, a personal injury attorney in Rock Hill, South Carolina with Elrod Pope Law Firm, says that the following are the most prevalent wrongful death types of cases:
  • Car Accidents
  • Truck Accidents
  • Bicycle or Pedestrian Accidents
  • Motorcycle Accidents
  • Medical Malpractice
  • Defective Products
  • Workplace Accidents
  • Medication Errors
It is estimated that around 200,000 wrongful deaths occur each year in the United States. If you believe your loved one has died as a result of another’s negligence, a wrongful death attorney can pursue your case and get the justice your loved one deserves.
Most states allow only blood relatives, or certain individuals through marriage, to pursue wrongful death lawsuits. When a family member, common-law partner, guardian or caregiver dies, the surviving individual suffers a grievous and tangible loss. In that respect, wrongful death statutes protect the families of those individuals.
Each state sets their own limits of what can be awarded. Generally, the court attempts to award a restitution amount for the loss of the individual. This can, of course, include medical bills and funeral expenses. It also attempts to cover the loss of income the person would have provided if he or she had lived. Punitive damages could be awarded, as well.

Closing

Grieving is necessary and will occur whether one presses through the stages of grieving or not. However, it is unwise to magnify and elongate the suffering by not seeking help through the process from family, friends, a licensed counselor and, even, an attorney. Working through these emotional stages will help stabilize your being, and bring about renewed hope for your future. Finally, hiring a wrongful death attorney should be a part of the process as well. They can help you recover lost wages, medical expenses, and more, while helping bring about part of the legal closure you will need in your healing process.

Revenflo Charlotte: A team of writers dedicated to making the internet a better place

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

New Cover For My Book - From Grief to Peace

I changed the cover of my e-book - From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One.  I hope it is an improvement on the previous cover.My book received some mixed, but largely positive reviews. We found some typing errors that will be corrected as soon as possible.

The book is written for people who are not prepared for the reality of grief. It is not a book that breaks new ground in the study of grief or bereavement. It probably offers very little new on the subject. The book is however borne out of my many years experience with people experiencing grief. Mostly people struggle to cope with grief because they have no idea what it is. Getting a better understanding of grief helps to better cope with the pain.

For this reason the book is short and to the point. It's main purpose is to simply and easily help people come to terms with grief. As one reviewer stated:

I feel that no matter how well you think you've prepared yourself, it's never easy dealing with death and the loss of a loved one. The grieving and healing process is such a truly individual journey and as such is always unique. That being said, this wonderful book offers insight into the process of coping with grief and loss in ways I hadn't considered. I especially like the way the author turned the word "grief" into an acronym that spells out the steps to healing and serenity. Whether you've recently lost a loved one, or know that you're going to soon, this well-written volume offers good, practical advice, that is both heart-felt and touching.


Thursday, 4 October 2012

Thank you for downloading my book: From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One.

I would like to thank all who downloaded my latest book, From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One, during the free promotion. Over 500 people downloaded the book. I hope it helps some of you in coping with the loss of a loved one. To those who found some typing errors, thank you very much for bringing them under my attention. I will fix them and update the book as soon as possible. If any of you found typing errors, please let my know.

I am currently busy completing my next book to be published in the next month or two. Please hold thumbs that I finish it in time. The theme is also about grief and bereavement. It is absolutely shocking to see how many people struggle with the loss of a loved one on a daily basis. Death is a daily part of our lives, but we are so ill-equipped to handle it. The pain and the hurt that death causes in the lives of people is hard to explain.

I truly hope that my books offer some support to people in need.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Did you just hear a loved one is dying?


Death is the great unknown. The world’s religions all address the issue of death in different ways. Even with these perspectives and help, we quickly realize that we fear the reality of death. When a loved one is diagnosed with an incurable disease, we are confronted with many unknowns. What is my loved one experiencing? How will my life be without him or her? Is he or she ready to die? Questions swarm our minds and we suddenly feel helpless, and that is frightening for anyone.

This can create strange behavior. A calm person can suddenly rage against the doctors and their diagnosis. A strong person who is usually the strong one can suddenly become pathetic. The sudden realization of the reality of death has the ability to shake us to the core. Strange emotional reactions are normal and even common. Uncharacteristic behavior is not only limited to the one diagnosed with the news of impending death. The close family and friends can also experience great shock and confusion. The most difficult part of handling these uncharacteristic behaviors is that they affect our relationships in time of stress.

Normal family relationships can become strained and tense. Deflecting emotions we do not know how to handle unto other people is a normal human response.
These emotional responses are part of the process known as anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is the same as normal grief, the hard part is that the person we are grieving is still alive. We usually do not think we are grieving yet, and this makes the emotional experience we have more confusing. Understanding that the grieving process can start for both the person who is sick as well as the close family and friends will help in handling this process. Explaining the reality of anticipatory grief, and the impact it has on people will also help smooth over strained relationships after emotional outbursts. It is important to realize and remind ourselves that grieving places us on an emotional roller coaster and we should be extra compassionate and forgiving with each other, especially when still coping with the shock.

The depth of the emotional impact will depend on how close we are to the person. The closer we are to the person the harder it will be to manage our emotions. This is normal and should be expected. The emotional impact of realizing that someone we love could die make it hard to discover what we are suppose to do. How should we act? What should we say?

What you should do will depend on the context and the person who is suffering the terminal illness. Sometimes humor can be a powerful way for a family and friends to cope with the grief. Other times making jokes can seem insensitive. The best is to try to take your cues from the person who is dying. If they are making a few jokes, laugh with them and join in. They need to laugh. But whatever you do, always be available and rather say less than more. Hold their hand and do not avoid eye contact. Some people’s worst fear is dying alone. Also try to see this period as a time grace. Although a sickbed can be a horrendous experience, it does offer the family and friends an opportunity to bond, reconnect and focus on creating new and lasting memories. The sad reality is that every person has to die some time and we have little control over how we die. Focus on the time you do have available with your beloved.

The shocking news that a loved one is about to die shake us to the core. We usually do not know how to handle this, but there is not a correct way. The best is to be there for the person, to be honest about your feelings and to understand the pressure can wreck havoc on the personal relationships. Be forgiving and understanding with one another.




Saturday, 29 September 2012

Get My Newest Book Free for 3 Days.

I am promoting my newest book FREE for 3 days. Get it now. This offer ends 01 October 2012. 


From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One

Everyday someone loses a loved one. It is a painful and lonely period. Grief is a roller coaster of emotions and it can become so intense that you to question your own sanity. And to be honest most of us are unprepared for the impact of loss. Now there is help. From Grief to Peace - Mourning your loss will touch and comfort you. You will learn what grief is, why it is normal to feel so "abnormal" and how you can live through the pain and loss. This book will give you easy to follow ideas on how to lessen the impact of grief.

From Grief to Peace is written in simple terms. Not because the topic is simple or because the implication is that you cannot understand it fully. The book is short and simple because you need to focus on grieving and mourning your loss. Get this book today and earn a better understanding of the grieving process while learning the healthy way to survive the death of a loved one

Get this Kindle Book now.... Click Here

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Unable To Attend The Memorial Service? Write A Letter of Condolence. | The Grief Toolbox

I have written a new article published by The Grief Toolbox website.

What to do when you are unable to attend the memorial service of a deceased. A good possibility is to write a letter of condolence to the bereaved. A letter gives you the possibility to still offer your heartfelt support, even if you are unable to be there. Read more about writing a letter of Condolence by clicking the link below

Unable To Attend The Memorial Service? Write A Letter of Condolence. | The Grief Toolbox

Using Movies To Learn More About Grief.


We usually watch movies to relax, but movies have bigger power than just helping us to relax. Movies have the power to move us and to help us understand more about being human and our emotions.  Life is sometimes difficult and painful, and although some of us are blessed by living lives filled with joy and gratitude, we know that at some stage we will have to walk the road of pain and loss.

When troubling times hit, movies have a wonderful ability to help us make sense. Grief is a complex experience and most of us suddenly realize that we do not have the ability to describe our feelings. This is normal since grieving can be compared to a roller coaster. The one minute you feel as if you are coping, and the next minute the everything  falls out from under you and you lose it. An important part of coping with grief is being able  to express and understand what you are feeling. Movies are a valuable tool when trying to understand grief. Whether you are experiencing grief yourself, or trying to help a loved one of friend coping with grief, movies can help. Understanding grief is important, as Norman Cousins said “Man is not imprisoned by habit. Great changes in him can be wrought by crisis – once that crisis is recognized and understood.”

Watching movies can help you realize that your experiences are normal. Just realizing that you are not alone and what you experience is normal can promote healing. Also, watching a skillfully directed movie about grief can help you cry freely. Crying can release pain and hurt. It also offers you some chance to open up and discuss what you saw with someone else. This can offer you a springboard from which to launch a discussion of your own hurt and feelings. The healing that can be gained from a good movies is great. People experiencing grief tends to think that they will never be able to live again. It is as if their whole life has ended. Movies can help them see that grief is a universal experience and that life can go on again, although different.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Different Phases or Stages of Grief


Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross introduced the most famous model on the Stages of grief. She argued that people go through five different stages when confronted by death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  John Bowlby defined four different stages as numbness, searching and yearning, disorganization and despair, reorganizing and recovery.  No matter how you define these stages, all of them include the same situations: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, and acceptance.  Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through most of these stages.  Rather, these stages describe the possible emotions and reactions a person may experience when grieving, and not a linear progression from one stage to the other.  Grief can swing around; drop you to the ground, pull you forwards or backwards to any stage or phase it pleases. These can be experienced in any order, and some stages can be skipped altogether.  The biggest advantage of understanding these stages is that they do remind you that experiencing these feeling are quite normal behavior.  Grief is personal and unique for every person, and this applies to the possible stages of grief as well.

To learn more, please check out my latest book on Grief From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss. The Healthy Way

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Why Is It a Good Idea To Write a Letter When Grieving?



I regularly have contact with people struggling to survive the death of a loved one. Bereavement is a difficult time for anybody. My advice is usually some task to complete. It helps to focus the pain and the hurt. One of the more effective tasks is to start writing. Write a hymn, a poem, a tribute or just a simple message to your loved one. Remember this is not for other people, so do not worry about how it sounds. This is your thoughts, so simply jot them as they occur. Some use simple notebooks, but you may prefer to buy a special journal. Start writing regularly. Write down your memories of your life with your beloved. It could be hard in the beginning and it can cause you great pain. Use this to let your grief flow. Do not try to stop the tears. Crying is good for healing. Some claim that even thinking about the one they lost is just too painful. You need to let the gates of your grief open. You also need to remember why you are in pain: you lost someone very important. The purpose of remembering is to help you make peace with what happened.

Some feel that this task is too difficult. They do not know how to write, or where to start writing.  There are tricks to help you overcome these problems. Start pasting pictures in the journal. Browse through magazines and look for pictures that spark a sense of association in you. It can be anything that you can associate with the deceased like a photo of a mountain reminding you of a recent holiday trip to the mountains. Building up a collection of pictures with special meanings in you journal will help you understand how powerful this can be. Simply write a short description of why the picture is important and before long you will find yourself writing with ease. Sometimes when you struggle to write, simply write down how feel, in two or three words. Just writing a simple statement like “today I feel blue” on a single page in your journal helps you to keep a rhythm.

If you want to learn more about healing from your grief, please take a look at my newest book here or here

Friday, 21 September 2012

What is Grief and how does it differ from Mourning?

Grief Is To Experience Loss! Grief is a natural response to loss and more common than most people realize. It can be experienced for any loss like the breakup of a friendship, the loss of a beloved pet, the loss of a job, a miscarriage, a divorce, or even a serious illness. The death of a loved one can cause intense grief. The more significant the loss the more intense the grief, but the loss is a perceived loss. This means the loss of a pet can be more significant than the loss of a family member, depending on the perceived value of the pet. This makes grief a personal experience. Two members of the same family can experience the same loss, but still experience grief differently. Your coping abilities, life experiences, and faith also affect the intensity of your grief and mourning experiences. The differences in perceived loss can also cause misunderstandings and conflict between people. The death of a beloved dog can cause intense grief for the owner, giving cause to ridicule by others because of unnecessary “crying over that dog.” The closer the relationship, the longer and deeper the grieving period tend to be.

  To mourn is to express your grief As opposed to grief, which refers to how someone may experience the loss of a loved one, mourning is the outward expression of that loss. Understanding this distinction is important for healing. Grief is the internal pain you experience and this is universal. Every person who lost a beloved experiences essentially the same internal pain. The way we express these feelings however, depend on personal, cultural, familial, religious, societal customs and beliefs. Grief is internal, but mourning is external. Mourning is the attempt to give some form of structure to the confusing and painful reality of grief. It determines, for example, the way we prepare ourselves and our loves ones for dying, the way we bury our beloved and the way we preserve their memories. This can include visits to the graveside with flowers, keeping and cherishing photos and other memorabilia, or writing letters to the deceased. Just remember, acceptable rituals in one culture could be unacceptable in other cultures. It is important to remember that mourning is a personal expression of grief. There is no right or wrong way to do it.

Thursday, 20 September 2012

My First Review on Amazon

Jeffrey H. recently bought and reviewed my latest book on Amazon. He gave me 5 stars, which is quite generous [:p]. Here is his review:
If you have lost a loved one and are trying to cope with their lose this book can really help. This book will guide you through the grieving process and help you get your life back on the right track. It has easy to follow instructions and is full of helpful info and It is written in a way that is simple and to the point that really gets you into the right state of mind. I seriously recommend checking out this book if you are grieving for the loss of someone you love, it will help you.
To learn more, click here: From Grief to Peace - Mourning your Loss. The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One

Does counseling help when grieving?

Yes, it does. Finding the correct counselor with whom you can find report is of course important. Finding a counselor in your area is not as difficult as you think. Visit the community center, religious leaders or even Google your area with the words grief and counselor to find some in your vicinity. It can be worthwhile to find a good counselor when grieving. Grieving is a universal and normal response to the loss of anything important in our lives. We think about grieving only in terms of losing another human being. We can experience grief when we lose our jobs, a pet, or a lifelong dream for example. Although grief is a normal response, the problem is that we are mostly not prepared to handle grief. Counselors are known to help people in their grieving process and to help a faster and better healing process. Some people who losses something important also quickly realize that they are alone. In the beginning of the loss, people are usually sympathetic, but this does not last long. The world quickly forgets and moves on, leaving the mourner without the necessary support. Counselors can help fill this void created by people moving on. Counseling does appear to cause more pain in the beginning. Speaking about your loss and pain soon after can intensify the pain. Counselors know this and have techniques to guide grievers through their pain and hurt. Although the pain become more intense, speaking about it does help to relieve the pain in the end. Good counselors offer their patients an area where they can start to feel safe and secure. This allows them to speak freely about their emotions. Although counselors do offer great help, not everyone feel prompted to visit one. If you are going through a grieving process, take a look at my latest book, From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss. The Healthy You to Survive the Death of a Loved One. Perhaps it can offer some help.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

A great book by Blake Crouch - Pines

I read a very interesting book by an author I never heard of. It is quite a bit different than the books I normally read, but I enjoyed it. Read my full review here

Interesting book

I just read an interesting book about turning the tables on spammers. I did a short review here: HOW TO MAKE MONEY OPPOSING SPAMMERS - If You receive SPAM You can turn it into PROFIT

My First Sale and Review

I just found out that I made my very first sale on my newest book: From Grief to Peace - Mourning Your Loss: The Healthy Way to Survive the Death of a Loved One

I know it is just one sale, but the buyer also gave me a FIVE STAR REVIEW. I am so excited.

Making Choices is Hard!


Making choices in life is hard. The sad part is that we do not always know what the implications of our choices will be. It is only after we decided that we can sometimes discover if they were good or bad. Luckily, we all make bad choices. The problem is not bad choices, but how we react when we made a bad decision. I am busy writing my next article on this topic. I must say, I believe the key to a successful life is not in always making good choices, but rather in the way we act or react to those we did make.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

The Power of Fragile Hope


“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings 
How lucky the man, or woman, who manages to find hope in times of despair. How lucky those who believe that light always follow the darkness. Hope can be so fragile, and yet it can be the strongest force that keep us going when all else failed.

Reading books for Teenagers :-D



 I wondered about reading a book mainly targeted at teenagers. I am almost 40 years old, but still this book hooked me and I found it hard to put down. I completed the book in 3 days and I must say it was good. I must however state that I was a bit intrigued by the brutal story line. The book can be quite terrifying at times and even disturbing at times. It is still a great story that is entertaining to read.

The story immediately conjured images of the old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Running Man. Most of the targeted readers will not understand this reference, but the older people will. The Hunger Games is about a teenager who is forced to compete in a live-or-death competition. Twenty-four teenagers enters an arena and only one will come out alive.

There is some criticisms though. The characters are a bit flat and one-dimensional. If the author could have given the characters a little more depth, it would have made the book better. There is also some parts where the book is poorly written.

Still, any book that helps teenagers to discover the joys of reading should be praised. 

Sometimes we live happily while others mourn


I just read the horrific news of two young men who fell to their deaths. According to the news report, they fell 100 feet while hiking outside North Bend. One was 18 years old while the other was only 16. Both died too young.

I just realize how quickly life could end. We have no guarantees in this life. It is important to live every moment to the fullest. We always say this, but we never take this advice to heart. Another sad reality is while there are two families out there wrecked by grief and mourning, I continue my life unaffected. Grief is one reality we choose to ignore, until death singles out someone we love. Then we look at the world going along merrily and wonder why nobody is stopping to share our grief. So today I decided to make a stop, if only for a few minutes, and think about these families. They do not know me, and I do not know them. They will never be aware that I took some time today to stop my life and think about them and pray for them. Perhaps it will make no difference to them, but it will make a difference to me!

Monday, 17 September 2012

To Lose Someone you Love.


The death of a loved one is one of the most painful moments you can experience. I have more than 13 years experience in helping people coming to grips with various situations, especially grief. Grief has the ability to dislodge you from reality. Your emotions are so jumbled that you can compare the experience to a roller coaster ride. The one moment you feel fine, the next you feel like you cannot breathe. This is normal, and that is why it is so important to understand what grief is and how you van manage the pain. My latest book, From Grief to Peace - Mourning the Loss of a Loved One, is written to help you understand the pain, the emotional roller coaster and to give you the ability to survive and experience life again. It is not easy, and some even say you never fully recover from grief, but you can live a fulfilling life again. The goal is to reorganize one’s life so the loss is one important part of life rather than the center of one’s life. This book will also give advice on what you can do in slowly rebuilding your life. 

You can learn more about my book under my book page here.